Special Needs Children and the Holidays—Tips and Strategies

It’s the holiday season and that means lots of get-togethers, shopping trips, crowds, music and lights. It’s loud, colorful and…immensely stressful, full of potential triggers for children with autism, anxiety, sensory issues and other special needs. This time of year presents many challenges at home, in school and throughout the community. By planning ahead and having alternate or back-up plans, you can help make the holiday season less stressful for your child. It is important to speak with any visiting friends and family member as well as those whose homes you will be visiting. Share with them any special behaviors, quirks or sensitivities of your child so that they may better understand your child and his (and your!) needs and expectations.

For children with anxiety, anticipation is a big trigger in the time leading up to the holidays. This feeling often leads to anxiety overload, causing them to have a melt down just before, during or after the holiday. For these children, keeping the holidays low-key helps greatly. It’s okay to treat the holiday as an important day, but not in an over-the-top crazy way. To some children, piles of wrapped presents that cannot be opened can be stressful. Keeping these gifts out of sight can help children get stressed about waiting, and possible even opening gifts too early.

At this time of year, there is always an overload of sensory stimuli such as lights, music, bells, odors, tastes, crowds, and hugging. There are strategies for each of these situations; if you can speak with your child and discuss what elements are the most stressful, you can formulate a plan. For example, if certain smells upset your child, consider getting an artificial tree and battery-operated candles. If lights are a trigger, try ones that don’t blink. Decorate tastefully, leaving plenty of space throughout the home so that it doesn’t feel overdone or overcrowded with seasonal items. Try listening to instrumental, relaxing holiday music instead of loud, “busy” music. While planning visits to the mall, try to go during less-crowded times, when your child is well-rested and not hungry.

Family visits can be especially stressful for children with autism, sensory processing disorder, or other special needs. Prepare your child for any dinners or social events in advance. Discuss who will be visiting or where you will be going. Explain that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to hug or shake hands. Let him know there will be a quiet place where he can go to relax; this can be in your home or in someone else’s home (ask your host in advance). Be sure to prepare items such as noise cancelling headphones, a weighted blanket, a stuffed animal, tablet or books. Whatever soothes your child should be available to him, either in your home or in a backpack packed for the day.

It is important to let your child know that it is okay to feel a bit ‘off’ during the hectic, crowded time of the holidays. Let him know that his normal routine will return after the dinner/visit/outing. Work with your child to be sure to get positioned in a place (a corner of someone’s living room, a separate quiet room, a seat in a house of worship such as an aisle near the exit) that offers some comfort and an exit strategy.

An important element to consider is YOUR level of stress. If you are feeling out of sorts and overwhelmed, your special needs child will likely react to your stress. It is at this time that you need to take care of you. Breathe. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Take a break and ground yourself, so that your child will relax too.

Here are some tips from A Day in Our Shoes (adayinourshoes.com) that can function as a checklist for the holidays with children with special needs:

School Holidays and the Special Needs Child

  1. Communication is key! Communicate with your child’s teacher, read the school website. Find out what changes are going to happen as best as you can. Prepare your child for these changes–different meals, assemblies, early dismissals, whatever it may be.
  2. Ask your teacher to have a one sheet” included in her sub-folder about your child. This should include the necessary information that a sub would need to know about your child and what may cause him anxiety.
  3. Have daily briefings at breakfast and dinner. It sounds formal, but it doesn’t have to be. Just talk about what is going to happen that day or what did happen that day. What will be different?
  4. Contact his therapists or whoever works with your child and ask if they can do more role-playing, scripting and/or social stories related to holiday festivities.

Holidays with a Special Needs Child at Home

  1. If you haven’t sent out holiday cards in a while (not many people do it anymore!), consider sending them to the people you will come into contact with, might be visiting or might be staying with this holiday season. This is an easy and private way to share your child’s “quirks” and expectations.
  2. Talk with your child. Find out what their expectations are and make sure everyone is on the same page. Prepare them as best you can. Again, consider the morning and evening daily briefings.
  3. Pick your battles. Food doesn’t have to be an issue. Consider bringing some healthy snacks with you to family dinners. If your child refuses to wear a shirt and tie, it’s okay!
  4. When visiting, bring things that are a comfort to your child, especially if staying overnight. A favorite blanket, pillow, and his own shampoo will go a long way in soothing a child that is not sleeping in his own bed.
  5. Don’t force affection. This is another item you can explain to friends and family before your visit. If your child does not want to embrace and kiss relatives they barely know, or do not enjoy being hugged, respect that. Explain to the relatives that your child really does care about them, but that this is not how he shows it.
  6. Have an escape signal or word. Give your child an “out” if it is more than he can handle.
  7. Go visual. Have a color-coded calendar or some other method of visually outlining what your family is doing. Consider doing it with velcro so that items can be moved and removed if you need to alter your schedules.
  8. Sensory-friendly events and Quiet Santas are very common around the holidays. These are a great opportunity to participate and be able to relax a little bit.
  9. Set your child up for success. Pre-arrange conversations with relatives so that your child is included. A simple “I heard that you really enjoyed your school field trip to the museum” might be much more engaging for your child instead of “what’s your favorite subject at school?” but a relative may not know that.

Stress, Holidays and Special Needs Moms

  1. Remember that holidays and holiday breaks are intended to be a relaxing time and a “reset” so that you can go back to work/school rested and refreshed. Keep that in mind as you do your holiday schedule.
  2. Say no. Often. You don’t have to do everything.
  3. These are good opportunities to educate family and friends about your child’s issues. But, keep your child in mind–do not talk about them in front of them.

The bottom line is that families celebrate holidays in many ways. For families with special needs children, some additional planning may be necessary to comfortably experience this time of year. But with a lot of communication and much planning, it can truly be a magical time of year.

Wishing you and yours a healthy, happy holiday season!

Note: The information in this article is for informational purposes only. It is not an attempt to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always consult your child’s pediatrician with any specific medical questions. MKSA is also available to answer questions about child development. Contact us at 516-731-5588 or www.mksallc.com.

Sources:
Adayinourshoes.com
Comfortinganxiouschildren.com

Halloween Safety for Special Needs Children

Halloween is almost here, along with costumes, trick-or-treating, and lots of candy and snacks. There are many ways to prepare to keep your child safe while having a good time. For families of children with special needs there are often extra precautions needed to ensure a fun holiday. Below is a brief list of suggestions and resources that may be helpful.

General Safety Tips

-Choose light-colored costumes that are easily seen at night. If necessary, add reflective or glow-in-the-dark tape to the costume and treat bag.

-Be sure to buy flame retardant costumes or use flame retardant materials. This means the material will not burn.

-Be sure your child can breathe and see out of the costume; be sure masks, wigs and beards don’t cover eyes, noses or mouths. Instead of masks, consider using non-toxic face paint or makeup.

-Put a name tag with your phone number on your children’s costumes.

-Avoid oversized and high-heeled shoes to prevent falls. Be sure costumes aren’t so long a child can trip over them.

-Make sure any props such as swords or wands are short and flexible.

-Walk on lit sidewalks and walk from house to house (no running).

-Cross at crosswalks and do not assume vehicles will stop for you.

-After trick-or-treating, check all treats to be sure they are sealed. Discard any candy with torn packages or holes in packages, and spoiled items.

Trick-or-Treat Basics

Under age 12:

-Children under 12 should always go trick-or-treating with an adult.

-Be sure your child knows your cell or home phone number.

-Children should know how to call 911 in case they get separated or lost.

Older children:

-Older children should have a route and a time limit

-Be sure your child carries a cell phone, and a flashlight or glow stick.

-Children should go in a group and stay together, and only go to houses with lights on.

-Children should never go into strangers’ cars or homes.

For Children with Autism

The sights, sounds and smells of the holiday can be immensely challenging for a child with autism. In many cases, if children know what to expect beforehand, Halloween can be a bit less stressful. Some preparation suggestions include:

-Reduce anxiety by maintaining your child’s regular routine as much as possible.

-Use stories to prepare your child for the holiday and activities you may do. Watch movies with scenes of children trick-or-treating and participating in Halloween activities.

-Mark event dates on your calendar. Consider adjusting how far in advance you prepare your child if he gets anxious when anticipating an event.

-Respect your child’s limits when planning and scheduling activities.

-Practice wearing a costume before Halloween. Allow your child to dress up as their favorite character regardless of age. There are even pajamas that look like costumes.

-Avoid props that may cause sensory overload.

-Make fun, Halloween-themed food throughout the month.

-At parties, find a private room for your child to safely relax when overwhelmed.

-Attend drive-up or drive-through Halloween events.

-Instead of trick-or-treating, consider creating a candy/toy scavenger hunt in your house or yard, or buying a pinata to fill with allergy-friendly candy and toys, and allow your kids to break it open on Halloween.

-Play sensory games with slime, squishy brains, etc. Click here for some great ideas for sensory games.

-Make Halloween crafts to use as decorations.

For additional tips, click here.

For information on keeping your child with ASD safe, click here.

-Create innovative ways to safely hand out candy to trick-or-treaters such as a cool candy slide Here’s an example.

Costumes

For children with sensory issues, many activities during this time may be additionally difficult. Below are additional accommodations that may help:

-Discuss Halloween and costumes with your child before the holiday arrives.

-Select a sensory-friendly costume and have your child wear familiar, comfortable clothing underneath. If possible, wash the costume before wearing to soften the material and remove any unfamiliar scents. Consider having your child wear a compression or weighted vest underneath.

-Have your child practice wearing their costume before the holiday and make necessary adjustments.

-Factor in time for breaks.

-Bring items that comfort your child, such as noise-cancelling headphones, ear plugs, weighted vests and comfort items.

Click here for more information.

The Teal Pumpkin Project

The goal of The Teal Pumpkin Project is to make trick-or-treating more inclusive and safer for children with food allergies. By placing a teal pumpkin on your stoop, you are letting trick-or-treaters know you have non-food treats that are safe. Read more here.

 

Halloween can be celebrated in a variety of ways that provide safe fun for all. A little planning and preparation can help greatly toward enjoying any holiday and Halloween is no exception. It is important to assess your family’s needs and go from there. There is no gold standard to which we must adhere in order to enjoy this holiday. Create your own way of celebrating and enjoy! Happy Halloween.

 

Note: The information in this article is for informational purposes only. It is not an attempt to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always consult your child’s pediatrician with any specific medical questions. MKSA is also available to answer questions about child development. Contact us at 516-731-5588 or www.mksallc.com.

Sources:
Halloween Tips for Autism Families: https://tacanow.org/family-resources/trick-or-treat/
Halloween Safety Tips: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/halloween.html
Halloween Sensory Play: https://lemonlimeadventures.com/totally-awesome-non-spooky-halloween-sensory-play-ideas-kids/
Keeping Your Kids with ASD Safe: https://tacanow.org/family-resources/keeping-your-kids-with-asd-safe/
How to Have a Safe and Sensory Friendly Halloween: https://www.myautism.org/news-features/how-to-have-a-safe-and-sensory-friendly-halloween
The Teal Pumpkin Project: https://www.foodallergy.org/resources/about-teal-pumpkin-project

Strategies for Navigating the Holidays with a Special Needs Child

The holidays are a magical time of year for children, with plans for family get-togethers, gift shopping and gift anticipation, as well as other loud, colorful activities. For children with special needs this can be an immensely stressful time of year full of many challenges at home, in school and throughout the community. The holidays are full of potential triggers for children with autism, anxiety and other special needs. By planning ahead and having alternate plans, you can help make the holiday season less stressful for your child. It is important to speak with any visiting friends and family member as well as those whose homes you will be visiting. Share with them any special behaviors, quirks or sensitivities of your child so that they may better understand your child and his (and your!) needs and expectations.

For children with anxiety, anticipation is a big trigger in the time leading up to the holidays. This feeling often leads to anxiety overload, causing them to have a melt down just before, during or after the holiday. For these children, keeping the holidays low-key helps greatly. It’s okay to treat the holiday as an important day, but not in an over-the-top crazy way. To some children, piles of wrapped presents that cannot be opened can be stressful. Keeping these gifts out of sight can help children get stressed about waiting, and possible even opening gifts too early.

At this time of year, there is always an overload of sensory stimuli such as lights, music, bells, odors, tastes, crowds, and hugging. There are strategies for each of these situations; if you can speak with your child and discuss what elements are the most stressful, you can formulate a plan. For example, if certain smells upset your child, consider getting an artificial tree and battery-operated candles. If lights are a trigger, try ones that don’t blink. Decorate tastefully, leaving plenty of space throughout the home so that it doesn’t feel overdone or overcrowded with seasonal items. Try listening to instrumental, relaxing holiday music instead of loud, “busy” music. While planning visits to the mall, try to go during less-crowded times, when your child is well-rested and not hungry.

Family visits can be especially stressful for children with autism, sensory processing disorder, or other special needs. Prepare your child for any dinners or social events in advance. Discuss who will be visiting or where you will be going. Explain that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to hug or shake hands. Let him know there will be a quiet place where he can go to relax; this can be in your home or in someone else’s home (ask your host in advance). Be sure to prepare items such as noise cancelling headphones, a weighted blanket, a stuffed animal, tablet or books. Whatever soothes your child should be available to him, either in your home or in a backpack packed for the day.

It is important to let your child know that it is okay to feel a bit ‘off’ during the hectic, crowded time of the holidays. Let him know that his normal routine will return after the dinner/visit/outing. Work with your child to be sure to get positioned in a place (a corner of someone’s living room, a separate quiet room, a seat in a house of worship such as an aisle near the exit) that offers some comfort and an exit strategy.

An important element to consider is YOUR level of stress. If you are feeling out of sorts and overwhelmed, your special needs child will likely react to your stress. It is at this time that you need to take care of you. Breathe. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Take a break and ground yourself, so that your child will relax too.

Here are some tips from A Day in Our Shoes (adayinourshoes.com) that can function as a checklist for the holidays with children with special needs:

School Holidays and the Special Needs Child

  1. Communication is key! Communicate with your child’s teacher, read the school website. Find out what changes are going to happen as best as you can. Prepare your child for these changes–different meals, assemblies, early dismissals, whatever it may be.
  2. Ask your teacher to have a one sheet” included in her sub-folder about your child. This should include the necessary information that a sub would need to know about your child and what may cause him anxiety.
  3. Have daily briefings at breakfast and dinner. It sounds formal, but it doesn’t have to be. Just talk about what is going to happen that day or what did happen that day. What will be different?
  4. Contact his therapists or whoever works with your child and ask if they can do more role-playing, scripting and/or social stories related to holiday festivities.

Holidays with a Special Needs Child at Home

  1. If you haven’t sent out holiday cards in a while (not many people do it anymore!), consider sending them to the people you will come into contact with, might be visiting or might be staying with this holiday season. This is an easy and private way to share your child’s “quirks” and expectations.
  2. Talk with your child. Find out what their expectations are and make sure everyone is on the same page. Prepare them as best you can. Again, consider the morning and evening daily briefings.
  3. Pick your battles. Food doesn’t have to be an issue. Consider bringing some healthy snacks with you to family dinners. If your child refuses to wear a shirt and tie, it’s okay!
  4. When visiting, bring things that are a comfort to your child, especially if staying overnight. A favorite blanket, pillow, and his own shampoo will go a long way in soothing a child that is not sleeping in his own bed.
  5. Don’t force affection. This is another item you can explain to friends and family before your visit. If your child does not want to embrace and kiss relatives they barely know, or do not enjoy being hugged, respect that. Explain to the relatives that your child really does care about them, but that this is not how he shows it.
  6. Have an escape signal or word. Give your child an “out” if it is more than he can handle.
  7. Go visual. Have a color-coded calendar or some other method of visually outlining what your family is doing. Consider doing it with velcro so that items can be moved and removed if you need to alter your schedules.
  8. Sensory-friendly events and Quiet Santas are very common around the holidays. These are a great opportunity to participate and be able to relax a little bit.
  9. Set your child up for success. Pre-arrange conversations with relatives so that your child is included. A simple “I heard that you really enjoyed your school field trip to the museum” might be much more engaging for your child instead of “what’s your favorite subject at school?” but a relative may not know that.

Stress, Holidays and Special Needs Moms.

  1. Remember that holidays and holiday breaks are intended to be a relaxing time and a “reset” so that you can go back to work/school rested and refreshed. Keep that in mind as you do your holiday schedule.
  2. Say no. Often. You don’t have to do everything.
  3. These are good opportunities to educate family and friends about your child’s issues. But, keep your child in mind–do not talk about them in front of them.

The bottom line is that families celebrate holidays in many ways. For families with special needs children, some additional planning may be necessary to comfortably experience this time of year. But with a lot of communication and much planning, it can truly be a magical time of year.

Wishing you and yours a healthy, happy holiday season!

 

Note: The information in this article is for informational purposes only. It is not an attempt to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always consult your child’s pediatrician with any specific medical questions. MKSA is also available to answer questions about child development. Contact us at 516-731-5588 or www.mksallc.com.

Sources:
Adayinourshoes.com
Comfortinganxiouschildren.com
 

Holidays for Children with Sensory Needs

We are deep into the holiday season and all of its shopping, visiting, dinners and more. For children with special needs and especially those with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), this time of year is very challenging and often downright impossible to navigate. A child with SPD who is trying to handle the sights, sounds, smells and crowds of the holidays can experience a rapid meltdown.

Sensory Integration is the process by which we receive information through our senses, organize the information and use it to participate in daily activities. Sensory Processing Disorder is a condition in which the brain has trouble receiving and responding to external stimuli. SPD may affect a single sense, such as taste, touch or hearing. It may also affect multiple senses, and people can be under-responsive or over-responsive to things with which they have difficulties.

It can be viewed as a spectrum, with sensitivities that range from mild to debilitating. Difficulty processing information from our senses leads to a variety of issues including:

-trouble communicating

-uncoordinated movement, balance and gait

-difficulty with spatial orientation

-discomfort and pain

-dietary restrictions

-depression and anxiety

-learning disabilities

SPD is an ongoing issue that becomes elevated during the holidays. With so many additional situations, such as lights, sounds, odors and crowds it’s important to have coping strategies to help your child during this time of year. It’s also important to know your child, and know his/her triggers as you plan for the holidays.

The most important aspect of the holidays and SPD is remember that you know your child. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! Before outings, shopping and get-togethers prepare items, toys and foods that offer calm and peace to your child when he/she is stressed. Involve your child in packing these items. Reminding your child that you worked together in planning will help assure him that he’s not alone in the overwhelming situation. Speak with family or friends who will be attending seasonal activities with you. Explain that you are preparing some strategies in support of your child’s sensitivities.

We’ve put together a list of some situations and strategies that might help:

Crowds
This time of year means extra crowds. There will be a lot of people at the mall, shopping centers, small stores, and holiday get togethers. Certainly, if you can leave your child home while shopping, that’s the best option. For those times you can’t realistically avoid crowds, you can try to shop at non-peak hours to help your child adjust. You can also try some of the following:

-use headphones if external noise is troublesome; this is a good way to keep a constant, comfortable sound level

-try sunglasses to help deal with excess visual stimulation

-use weighted vests and ankle weights to provide the physical pressure to stay calm

Travel
Each family knows their child best, and knows what items and strategies work best during travel. Favorite electronics and other activities can help with a long car ride.

Photos with Santa
We’ve heard of extremes regarding children with SPD and having photos taken with Santa. Some children are—let’s be polite here—not happy about it. Red-faced, screaming and sweaty, these children are not pleased when propped on Santa’s lap. There are also children who are so interested in Santa they touch his beard, play with his bells, and take a long time with the bearded man. For those children, it’s worth exploring ‘Caring Santas,’ available at certain malls this holiday season. Here are two links to these events: https://www.instagram.com/mksallc/  and https://events.longisland.com/caring-santa-at-smith-haven-mall2.html

Get-togethers
Plan ahead with regard to houseguests, whose presence can cause over-stimulation like any other crowd. Be sure your child has a quiet area in which to play or rest. Let relatives know if hugging is ok or off limits. Overall, it’s important to try to keep your child’s routine as normal as possible, even if it means parents wind up rearranging their own routine or schedule. It’ll be worth it!

Meals
The holidays are synonymous with big meals and a lot of special foods. Oral defensiveness is a common issue for children with SPD, and this can lead to picky eating. While this is likely something that is worked on throughout the year, the holidays mean new, unique holiday dishes, many with strong odors. Some strategies for handling this include sticking to your regular routine with regard to meal times and placement of dishes and silverware. Notify guests of your child’s dietary issues when appropriate to avoid hurt feelings when a child refuses to eat new foods. At mealtime, allow your child to explore new foods, respectfully and discretely. If possible, prepare one or two of your child’s non-holiday favorites. New foods, a large crowd at the table and a lot of distractions are very difficult for a child with SPD to handle. Reward good behavior with special treats, extra play time or special praise.

For additional coping tips, take a look at this list: https://sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport.com/tips-for-a-more-successful-sensory-christmas.php

 

We’ll circle back to the most important point: remember that you know your child. Trust your intuition; no one knows your child better than you do. Make no apologies for your child and surround yourself with people who understand you, and what your child is going through.

Wishing you a happy, healthy holiday season.

 

 

Note: The information in this article is for informational purposes only. It is not an attempt to diagnose or treat any medical condition. Always consult your child’s pediatrician with any specific medical questions. MKSA is also available to answer questions about child development or about Sensory Processing Disorder. Contact us at 516-731-5588 or www.mksallc.com.

 

Sources:

https://www.interactivemetronome.com/spd-and-the-holidays.html

https://sensoryprocessingdisorderparentsupport.com/tips-for-a-more-successful-sensory-christmas.php

http://www.puttingsocksonchickens.com/holiday-traditions-with-your-spd-kid/